Here I am

When I was in my final year of undergraduate studies in Psychology I worked as an intern at International Justice Mission. I was at a turning point in my life (a whole other story) and so far all I knew was that I loved children and I enjoyed helping people. While there I worked with children who had been sexually abused and people who had faced police brutality and false imprisonment. It was as though I was plunged in to a whole other world. Don't get me wrong; I knew that there is darkness in this world, but during my time there the little bubble that I had been living in was burst and my eyes opened up to see how terrible the human condition is. This led to many nights when I went to sleep with a pillow wet with tears. One time I got so angry I went to visit my psych professor who took me kick boxing. I forsook the gloves and punched till my knuckles bled. (I know I know, melodramatic right?) 

In spite of all these terrible things I was exposed to, the one thing that stuck with me was the light that IJM brought to the lives of those people. You see, my discomfort and tireless hard work were more than worth it to see the smile on the face of a child who has come out on the other side a victor. It was worth it to see a person falsely accused acquitted of their crime and reunited with their family. I learned then that only in the dark do you appreciate the light of just one match. I saw what it meant to be 'the light of the world'. I found men and women who answered God's call to 'Seek justice, love mercy and walk humbly with your God'. I found my calling to social justice and so I chose to pursue it; I said to God 'Here I am, send me' .

                            "Only in the dark do you appreciate the light of just one match"  

My pursuit led me to the area of Child Protection and thus to the University of Edinburgh to pursue my masters degree in Childhood Studies (Children's Rights). That journey of faith was a marvelous one. There I was in a foreign land with my closest relatives far south. Time after time God surprised me with His providence, protection and friendship. I grew in ways I didn't think possible, met wonderful friends and experienced Him in new ways. My studies made me aware of global injustices as I sought to open my eyes to what is truly happening in the world. My dissertation was on child trafficking and once again I found myself delving into the depths of darkness, only this time it was in my research. For about 4 months all I read on a daily basis was of how millions of people are daily being enslaved and forced to work under the most terrible conditions; people for whom violence is an every day occurrence and for whom freedom is an abstract idea/myth they dare not even dream of. Each day it broke my heart to read and write of these things but I finally finished and graduated. I found myself at the end of that period of my life saying once again, 'Here I am Lord, send me'. I found myself back in Kenya wondering what to do next; for 4 months my prayer life was various versions of 'use me'. I was singing songs like Hillsong's 'Oceans Deep' ... "Spirit Lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wonder and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my savior" 

Well, finally God answered me (three times just so I was clear on what he wanted). I joined the Kinara program today. For the last three months I've felt like I was standing on the edge of a great chasm. I was scared and apprehensive. Most of my friends have jobs. One of my worst thoughts was 'Oh my goodness! next year when I'm 25 I'll still be an intern!' I am a person of 5 year plans (I finished my first one last year) so when I was making my second one, being a church intern was nooooot in my plans... but when I think of it, I did want to work in a christian organisation in the area of social justice. (check and check in this internship). I was scared of the heart-wrenching nature of Social Justice. I was afraid I would be a failure or that my peers would look at me as one... I had many more doubts and anxieties but to each God only kept saying 'trust me' 'I've got you' 'I am with you always'. So I decided to take the plunge. I'm excited to be starting the Kinara Program. So, if you're reading this, keep me in your prayers and follow me on this adventure.