Voices in my head

I have no idea how many people spend as much time inside their own heads as much as I do. And I think as much as I am healthy (or so I am think), it's time to recognize that the real world is where I should spend my time. For real, I tend to think that this is how people go 'crazy' , so to say, (Yes I know that isn't the politically correct word for it but.. you know what I mean...
as in, I used to say, and still say, and still feel to an extent, that the schizophrenics and dellsional, must be some of the happiest people on earth.
WAit, let me explain...It's true, just think about it, they have created an ideal world for themselves and they would rather live in that world. Well, I sometimes envy them for it. By the way, I do acknowledge that sometimes this world they've subconciously created can be bad and they can not escape it and to those people, my heart goes out to them. However, the romanticism of it all is my idea of perfection (getting to live in a world that you created). And I know just how good it can get in my head :)
I know I'm not the only one who does this, but I sometimes play out how a conversation with someone will fo. Especially during times when it's a 'we need to talk' moment. I feel the need to find a perfect conversation and I go over it until it's perfect in my head (both sides). Then reality checks in when we have the actual conversation and things go differntly from my plans and I get upset or rather, I get offput by it all. How sad.. I actually get shocked at how differently things end.
ANother instance of my being in my head is when I'm about to do something spontaneaous or even normanl. Eg, I'll be walking down staris like a normal person would, when I feel like jumping down the last few steps. Immediatly my mind plays this slide shows of several different ways that that can go wrong. like I fall on my face, I break a limb, I have to walk in a cast, the list goes on and on.. or When I'm walking with a cup of hot coffee, I always imagine myself spilling the coffee down my front as I stumble and fall and burn my face with hot coffee... things like that.. As in, in my head I've fallen like a thousand different ways in as many positions and locations and in real life, well, if I had a shilling for each time, I'd probably be able to buy a 5 bob coin :)
As in, even something simple as a kiss, do other chics worry that the lip balm will be annoying to the dude? haha sillyness galore!
Oh and when I'm talking to someone, yeah, still in my head, talk about multitasking. I sometimes end up losing my train of thought because I was busy thinking when I was talking. It's ashaming. I even stop suddenly because the audience of me in my head is tired of listening to my voice. Heck I think I've broken some sort of record with being all up in your own head.
Yes, I think it's normal to have an inner voice that reads out whatever I am reading. BUt I'm changing. I seem to have reduced the number of times I retreat into my inner sanctum in public and I'm proud of that, but whaaaat, I just need to get over this obsession with life in my head and just live a little. I have always (since Jan 2011) been an advocate for living in the present (the now) and I think that in order to truly enjoy the moment, I can't have my inner voice tinkering and yelling at me all the time.
Heck, I should probably stop reversing time in my head and replaying conversations in order to decipher hidden meanings or to think of things I should have done.. I probably didn't do them because this inner voice convinced me it was a bad idea...
You know, inactions are the things I regret most. It's never what I did (read previous post) but what I failed to do when I had the opportunity that is a pain in my memories. I guess I should train this inner voice to stop doubting and asking 'why' all the time. I resolved to be a 'whynot' kind of girl. So far, that's the best question that I can come up with. That and 'what's the worst thing that could happen anyway?' Yeah that one really helps me just take the leap, be it jumping into the pool with my clothes on, telling my parents I love them or just applying for an internship at my dream organization (which incidentaly I got :) ..
You know, it often is never that serious as we make situations seem. I recognize the need to ask 'why?' in some serious situations but if the worst outcome is a bruised ego or a few bumps and bruises verses a great few seconds, a wonderful experience or a lesson to learn, well it's just plain stupidity and cowardice to let that voice hold me back, isn't it? Of course it is.
Well, I know I will never completley out of my own head; that is just part of who I am, but I can learn to slow down some of the multi-tasking, lay off the melodramatic meltdowns when the outside world doesn't match the inner world, and fire the pessimistic thinker in there and for sure, I'll be having a blast both in and out of my head.. it's a party everywhere ;)