LIFE BEHIND THE MASK

To say I can is harder each day,
Each step, each breath, I struggle to take.
The darkness harkened,
and quickly I answered.
It covered me and I bathed in its shadow.
I ignored the pain,
Ignored my hurt.
and slowly it ate away at my heart.
The light inside me was growing dim
and all i could do was keep a cool face.
My heart was withering,
It was slowly dying,
But I had to keep composed.
There was no way to remove the mask;
It had crawled inside me.
I felt it under my skin.
it made living each moment harder and harder.
No matter what I tried,
I couldn't shake it off.
But come to think of it,
I may not have tried hard enough.
I can't blame anyone,
for they all tried to help;
well, at least some did.
I was drifting off,
carried away by a current.
All the while I smiled and said I was ok.
I just had to pretend that everything was ok.
Then the evening would come and I'd be alone,
stuck in a body I couldn't call my own,
stuck in a house I couldn't call a home.
What is it that happened so long ago,
to take a sweet hear to turn so cold?
The ice queen seems fine,
she just floats through life,
gliding along, like she's on ice.
They don't notice the pain in her eyes as she takes each step,
they don't see the hurt caused by each breath.
They don't hear the uncertainity as she talks to them.
They think her smile is as warm as she seems.
They don't notice how her eyes glisten no more.
Somehow she must keep the maks on.
For none must know what goes on inside her head.
Each one must his own cross bear alone.
She doesn't need another's pity.
Oh no,
She just needs to concentrate all of her power,
on taking the next step,
on taking the next breath,
on living the next moment,
and the next.
From one to the next, her cycle goes on,
This hamster has a wheel, with no stop button on.

By Dot Neriah.
and the next,